I am trying speech recognition for the first time.  It has some quirks.  I thought it might help in my writing.  It is going to take some getting used to because I feel like I am talking like a robot.  Many times I have trouble putting my thoughts down while using a keyboard.  My mind seems to work faster than my fingers, and I tend to leave out important details because of the work it takes to actually typed out my ideas.  I thought this might be a good solution for me, so my readers you are my Guinea pigs.

I was going to buy, a speech recognition program.  Then I saw that the computer had its own built in speech recognition.  Instead of buying a program for $75.00, I decided to give the computer program a chance.  So far it seems to be working well.  There are a lot of commands that I need to learn so that I can delete, rearrange and use harder words that my computer needs to recognize.  It is going to take some time, evidently the computer must recognize my particular speech patterns. I won’t be using it for everything, mostly for writing the book I am authoring with a friend.

This thing I am finding frustrating, is the misrepresentation of some of the words I am trying to use.  I end up having to go back by hand and fixing them.  In the long run however, I think it would be easier to do that was spell check for a very long documents.  I have been writing for quite awhile and the biggest challenge for me is using the keyboard.  I might decide to write more by using this program.  So far it isn’t too bad though there are some bugs.  Since the book is such a long endeavour, I am thinking the bugs might be worth it.  I think I will be able to use a streaming flow of thought hence creating a more interesting flow in my writing.  My only problem is to try to make it not sound to robotic.  Technology is a wonderful thing and I’m willing to try this, things for be in my first speech recognition victim!

Rockband Three has made its emergence on the scene. I must say the new features are really polished compared to Rockband two. Yesterday when Tori got home for school we tried it out. We went a little “ghetto” according to my husband as try as we might we couldnt find one of our drumsticks. A wooden spoon might seem a little “ghetto” but it worked and my fix on the drums was saited.

  They did a very good job representing all of the decades. They added 80 songs to our already burgeoning song list. We now have 306 songs to choose from, anything from Jimi Hendrix to Lady Gaga. It has seriously brought generations together in my circle . My friends and I play every Saturday night and range in ages from 15 to 57. The younger ones tend to like us older generations to sing odd things like Chop Suey by System of a Down and Reptillia by the Strokes. Heavy sighs ensue  however when its our turn to choose and we decide on Renegade by Styx and Heart of Glass by Blondie.  We all learn each others songs though and find gems that we like that we might never have been exposed to. I would reccomend Rockband to anyone with teens for a family night. We laugh , we eat and share, it has been awesome.

  Tori has played enough that she can go expert on many of the songs. She might have to warm up a bit but she does very well. I have a friend in Canada that plays Rockband as well and he remarked that he would delight in a showdown on the guitar. He threw down the gauntlet and so I presented it to Tori in the presence of her friend on the way to a volleyball game in which I was of course playing like I was driving Miss Daisy. (This is the way it is with teens when you drive. They want to sit in the back seat with their friends of course. The only thing missing is the window between you and the backseat to totally make you feel as if your only duty is to play Taxi.)  Her friend remarked how it would be so cool to have a showdown. She could then carry proudly the title of having beat someone in Canada.

   I never realized that beating someone in Canada was such a honor.  It must be akin to the Olympics and carrying the torch for America rockband style. So I have the task to let Allan know that not only does he fight for the older generation of Rockband but that he must defend the name of his homeland.  This one could be a nail biter…..

   For those that know me they know I have been dieting in anticipation for my gastric bypass sometime early next year. I have lost 11 lbs since I started October 8th. A very credible amount to be sure but as hard as I am really working I am frustrated as most people who try to lose weight, that it isnt going very fast.  I faithfully go to the gym three times a week, work out till my legs are weak  and I am swaying like a drunk man. Sweat is dripping off me like a over flowing gutter during a downpour. My face is red with exertion another really attractive thing and I am just thinking about putting one foot in front of the other. I am up to 23 minutes on the eliptical with a end goal of 30 min.

 A typical day for me in eating is the following:

 1 lowfat yougurt

1 apple

1 piece of double fiber toast with 1 tsp of butter

1 bowl of tomato soup

1 spinich and greens salad w/ fat free dressing and a half of can of tuna

1 orange

4 oz of baked chicken

4-6 oz of roasted potatos

1 cup of raw carrots

2 fruit bars for snack during the day and at least 50 oz of plain water with lemon

  This is straight from my food journal. I log every oz of food I intake and research every thing I put in my mouth for calories, fiber and fat. In the past four days I havent gained or lost one oz.  This is very hard work and not one oz? I think I could spit and lose one oz. What I have reached is a plateau….I shall have to remember the immortal words of my brother though. Inside every heavy person is a thin person trying to get out. I guess my thin person needs to start using a jack hammer to bust through because so far the heavy person is winning.

    It has been a while since I have had time to write. My life lately hasn’t had too much to tell. Tori has volleyball games on Mondays and practices on Tuesdays and I go the gym three times a week. I am getting things ready for our new game room and I have embarked on weight watchers to get ready for my upcoming gastric bypass. I bought a new scale and a handy dandy food scale.

    I haven’t actually joined the program but I have all the materials for it. When I say I am embarking on weight watchers it means everyone is. DK doesn’t count points of course but I have spent a lot of time looking up main dish entrees that we all will eat. I didn’t want to get caught in the trap of making two meals. Especially a meal that I really want to eat but that takes my entire point total for the whole day. So far its been alright, even for my picky husband. I think one of the keys for us is to use a lot more spices to give flavor to things. A plain grilled turkey burger is rather dull but add some onion, worchtshire, ketchup and a bit of fresh parmesan cheese (we call it Farmer John because when Tori was little that is what she thought it was called), and its quite tasty.

     DK threw me a curve ball yesterday. He bought KFC. Thanks to the internet I was able to find a meal even there that I could easily fit in.. A Grilled chicken breast is 4 pts and one cup of mashed potatoes(no gravy) is 4 pts and one tiny biscuit is 4 pts. Now who just eats one biscuit? Heck I could eat 4 myself , they are buttery and flaky and delicious ,I mean really…well I decided not to eat one and just made a quick green salad instead. The grilled chicken is delicious and I don’t even miss the frying and well, a cup of mashed potatoes is a regular serving and portion control has been my bane. I was happy that I could eat out and still maintain my healthy eating but it takes a lot of work to do so.

     The internet is great for looking up nutrition for restaurants. Most chains do have a nutrition guide online with a complete breakdown of nutrition. So before I go out to eat I look up the menu and try to make my options before I even go. Tonight for example…we got invited to go to a BBQ Restaurant called Smokey Bones. I looked up the nutrition guide and have decided on bbq pulled pork 8 pts, Baked beans 4 pts and a house salad with no dressing for 2pts. This is a lot more points then I would normally have in a meal as I am allotted only about 32 a day but it is within perimeters. I wont feel left out and will get to enjoy getting out.

     I wont claim its easy, and there have been times even this week where I just wanted to skip the gym, but I keep going. Honestly I didn’t know if I would have this much will power. I have believed the myth that overweight people are lazy and lack will power. I had given up any hope of being able to change my situation. Counting points, measuring , weighing everything that goes into my mouth however has been a wake up call to me. I really want to live to see my grandchildren(when I get them) graduate from high school and begin their lives. Life is far too short as it is and if it means not eating biscuits well …its a worthy sacrifice.

Albeit my pruning is inside I have let my husband deal with the outside. Living in base housing has been a blessing  because we dont have to care for the front. Yard maintence in the back however is our responsiblitly. Over the three years here that have ment that DK mows the lawn and weedeats. However, there are two large bushes whose names and origins escape me. I after all am from the West coast and have no knowledge of east coast flora. These bushes have grown over the three years to creep up and swallow most of our concrete patio, they have also swallowed the japenese maple.

Last Sunday we had to bomb our house for fleas. After setting off the bombs we all went out to the patio and sat with the pets for the two and a half hours that was recomended . While we were there DK and Tori got bored and pulled out a pair of pruning shears and began to prune.

The results were…quite drastic.

There are many ways of pruning. I have most commonly picked the indoor kind. Going through closets and drawers and purging the 12546 pens that dont work, hair ties that are so streched out they are of no use, the packets of soy sauce and chinese mustard that have collected from this years takeout orders.  Lord knows if there is a soy sauce shortage we are prepared better then Y2K.

In my forays I have found other items as well. Pictures of a person that was so dark I couldnt see who it was, why it was kept I have no idea. Probably a throwback from the days when one had to insert a roll of film in a camera and then pay to have it developed. Frugality says ” I paid for this I am not throwing it away, its like throwing away money” that would be my moms voice. I found a tiny little  water color paint tin. I think we got it out of cereral or something when I was a kid, I am sure it was kept because its a antique. Random notes that were scribbled on scraps of paper that over time have lost their meaning as they were written with the fewest key words as possible “Wednesday, Dicks turn left graham crackers” Let us hope I remembered what Dicks was and that I remembered the time other then it was Wednesday.

 I have begun to watch the plethra of shows on Hoarding. Somehow these shows fascinate me. People walking over their belongings , sleeping on one side of a bed and having one chair to sit on because there was nothing else clear. I sit and during the commercials I look around to see if the seeds of hoarding  have taken hold in my home. That pile of mail, the pop can that has been sitting on my desk for two days, the clothes that albeit have been folded neatly in the basket that have not been put in the drawers yet start to haunt my thoughts. I will finish the show and then quickly eradicate all signs of potential hoarding.  Its been a great motivator though I wonder if keeping my orginal mood ring and my 2007 Lord of the Rings calendar are tell tale signs that a future hoarder show will be mine….

(Elphaba):
Im limited
Just look at me – Im limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn’t do, Glinda
So now it’s up to you
For both of us – now it’s up to you…

(Glinda):
I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend…

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/for-good-lyrics-wicked.html ]

(Glinda):
Because I knew you

(Both):
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done you blame me for

(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There’s blame to share

(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda):
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba):
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both):
Who can say if I’ve been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda):
And because I knew you…

(Elphaba):
Because I knew you…

(Both):
Because I knew you…
I have been changed for good…

When my older daughter turned 16 my present to her was a road trip to Portland Oregon to see Wicked. It was a 14 hour trip and we sang the soundtrack that we already had and had memorized. We talked and laughed and sang at the top of our lungs. When we got to Portland we settled in and the next day we saw Wicked.

Being a special occasion , we both dressed nice. Settling into the seats that were almost in the back I realized that this was my first broadway play and I was sharing it with my special girl. Just her and I , I tried not to get teary eyed but it was so special to me. The lights went out and the music started and Iwas memorized. It was glorious and I enjoyed ever moment of it. I would suggest it if you ever have the opportunity.

My youngest daughter is turning 16 in March. It got me thinking how fast time flies. It was just yesterday that it was her sister and now it is her. I do have a plan but I cant put it here in public lest she sees it. I know the memory will be as precious to me as the one with her sister was. Memories, I have so  many joyful ones that they are begining to crowd out the bad ones and making them of no consquence. Most of them include my daughters. One of the lines in one of the songs…”Who can say if I have been changed for the better, but because I knew you , I have been changed for good.”

I have definitely been changed for the better and for good, because I have them in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdSsdSw-XMU&feature=related

So I got myself a new blouse. It is a poet shirt, breezy and sheer, it has a autumn patchwork palate and is very comfortable. When I showed my daughter I got the “Mom you are a freak” look. ” It looks like a old lady shirt mom” ” Since your idea of old is 35 I am sure it does” A shake of her head she threw up her hands ” I am just saying….”

Next critic is the husband. ” That print is a bit much” “Well I like it, its comfortable and I am tired of always wearing monotone colors.” “Well honey, I am just saying that its a bit of a loud print” ” I like it” “It looks good on you”  sweet husband read the second chapter of the married mans manuel of survivial.

I learned a long time ago, that I needed to be myself. Measuring up to others expectations is just too much work. Whether it be the kind of music I listened to, the clothes I wore, my weight or the kind of mother I was. In the end, I have to love what I am. I have to sleep at night and if I am comfortable in my own skin then I will be comfortable in other company. I spent too much wasted years trying to fit in. Trying to find acceptance in my spouse, and with my peers.

I am 45 now . I may be colorful like my new blouse,  I wont grace a runway . You wont find me on the sexiest people of 2010 . I am eclectic in my tastes, I laugh a lot and I only wear makeup when I go out. I am overweight, but I am not dull ..and most important….I like it !

I am sick of you. Your tear jerking, inspiring, romantic timeless stories have made me bereft of braincells. I stare numblingly at the screen. My daughter has been kind and wiped the drool from my chin. I would almost give anything for a scene of a mortuary and a autopsy of a cheating husband who always beat his dog so the wife and dog conspired to kill him in his sleep.

 Now to be fair, my mom does not have a whole lot to do here besides crochet and watch T.V. Every once in a while I am naughty and slip in a episode of Paula Deen or The Barefoot Contessa from the food network. I would watch my own T.V but DK uses the bedroom T.V to play his games. I watched him once as his eyes glazed over on a trip to the kitchen. The Hallmark Channels devilish sugar , sweet sappiness reaching out to grab and claim another victem. Quick thinking on my part saved him as I threw the cat in his path and it shook him from his impending doom.

I remarked recently on my facebook that I would never watch the Hallmark channel again after my mother left. My resolve has only stregthened. The strains of Little House on the Praire, Whos the Boss and Touched by a Angel have marred my dreams, I shall not relent. I might even put the channels as parental controlled….